Week 7: Staying Emotionally Connected

     This week’s topic concerning marriage and family is probably one of my favorite and most uplifting topics. When it comes to turning towards our spouse, this is done through the small and simple actions. Through the small and simple, I believe great things can be the result. Earlier we learned that marriages with a strong foundation are much more likely to survive than others. It’s through the small things that we build a mighty foundation. Dr John Gottman describes how “turning towards each other is the basis of trust, emotional connection, passion and a satisfying sex life.” 

     The meaning of turning toward each other in marriage is simply being more aware of how important the small moments are in a marriage. Things such as doing the dishes together, spending free time together, and being glad to see your partner at the end of the day are all examples of spouses turning towards each other. In marriage, we are constantly making bids for attention, humor, and support. Recognizing and acknowledging those bids are a mighty important part of turning towards each other and can really strengthen a marriage. 

     When it comes to the challenges of turning towards each other, it can be a struggle when a partner is mad and a bid for attention or support comes across as negative. This can create tension in the relationship when the other partner doesn’t recognize the bid. The key to combating this is to pause for a moment before replying defensively and pay close attention to a bid under the hurtful words. Another challenge in turning towards each other is being distracted by electronics. I think this is a huge barrier in today’s world with how much technology we have. People are finding it harder and harder to turn to others and we’ve grown to be more connected to the screens than to our families and marriage. It takes away from our focus and concentration on the things that are truly important. 

     My favorite line from the reading of this week stated “rather than judging our partners, let's seek to understand them.” I think this is a beautiful reminder because I think in today’s world too many people are quick to judge. Let’s remember to take a step back and find out what’s really going on and try our best to be the biggest support for our spouses.