Marriage Prep :)

Hello and welcome to probably one of my favorite topics… preparing for marriage!! There is a lot to this topic so just stick with me you are going to learn a lot. I first want to focus on the factors that go into attractiveness. Meaning, what makes someone attractive? Researchers dove into this topic and found that the most prominent things that make someone attractive is their intelligence/education, personal traits and physical appearance. When it comes to first impressions, physical attractiveness is the most important because it is the first thing that is seen when meeting someone. As a side note that I find very interesting, attractive people are more self-accepting because self-acceptance enhances attractiveness. Another important factor of what goes into attractiveness is similarities. Similarities are what attracts us to each other in our attitudes, beliefs, and personalities. I find it so interesting but similarities increase our attraction to another person because it makes for a more comfortable relationship. In relationships with similarities, there is more self-esteem and it paves the way for more intimacy. 

Next we are going to be looking at a very controversial topic and that is dating. Many people date for many different reasons. Some of them being recreation- to be able to relax and have fun, some for intimacy and companionship, others for mate selection- finding someone to marry, status attainment- to gain prestige, and socialization- to learn how to function effectively. When looking specifically at violence in dating, it is found at a higher rate for those who use drugs, regularly binge drink and are involved with antisocial peers. The best thing I’ve learned when it comes to dating is that boys love to share their talents! Guys simply wants friends and casual dating is a great way to provide a connection without being a forever match. 

There are so many different aspects when it comes to break-ups. When looking at gender differences, we see that women are more likely than men to experience joy or relief immediately after a breakup. When coping with a breakup, women are more likely to blame their partners and men will bury themselves in their work/sports. 

Believe it or not, there are steps to falling in love. The first step is rapport. This is the establishment of a comfortable relationship. When you feel relaxed with another person, you are more likely to engage in self-disclosure, which is the next step of dating. When we develop intimacy through self-disclosure, mutual dependency begins where we do things that require the other person to be present and lastly the intimacy needs are fulfilled. We have someone to love, someone to confide in, someone who appreciates us and we are falling in love. An important part of being in a relationship is understanding the attachment style. The healthiest attachment style for a relationship to thrive is secure attachment where there is a willingness to get close to others and feel secure in the relationship. 

When it comes to selecting a life partner, just remember that you could have a satisfying long-term relationship with a number of people. We see many Americans who cohabitate to work on looking for a life partner. However, those who cohabitate tend to be younger, less educated, and more likely to be unemployed, less religious, have parents who divorced, and have grown up in a single parent home. Rates of violence are higher among those who cohabitate. Overall an important lesson to understand is that married couples are happier and more stable than cohabiting couples. Longer courtship and later age at marriage both increase the probability of a lasting and satisfying union.