Week 11: Fidelity and Physical Intimacy

This week, I want to touch on something very important in a marriage. Fidelity is being faithful to a person demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support. Infidelity in a marriage can be caused by many reasons. However, none of those reasons make it okay to be uncommitted to a spouse. Unfaithfulness to a spouse happens progressively and typically, not suddenly. The progression starts out with behaviors that seem innocent, and continue on with a growing affection, extramarital flirting, relationship is declared as ‘special,’ opportunities are created to see the friend, excuses are made, lies are told, spouse is displaced, fault finding with spouse, fantasies about the other person, physical affection and lastly, sexual relations. 

Although I am not married, I want to be able to understand the causes of infidelity and more importantly, how to prevent it. Dr. Goddard gave many suggestions on how we prevent trouble in our marriages. It includes not allowing the seeds of lust to germinate, never making excuses to spend time alone with a person of the opposite sex who isn’t your spouse, taking responsibility for messages you give, don’t allow the heart to dwell on anyone, seek help from someone such as a therapist or bishop, spend more enjoyable time with spouse, renew spiritual efforts, don’t set yourself up for failure, keep the soul free of pornography, and celebrating the gift of companionship. Being faithful in marriage is being true to not only your spouse but the Lord as well. 

When it comes to fulfilling sexual intimacy in marriage, so much good can come from sexual fulfillment. However, sexual intimacy also has enemies. One important enemy is ignorance. It is so important that couples learn to be comfortable with the topic of sexual intimacy and being able to express their feelings and thoughts in specific ways. The less clear spouses are about what they do and don’t want, the less likely they are to get it. Another enemy to sexual intimacy is inhibition. Inhibition is an avoidance in dealing with one’s thoughts, feelings, desires or behaviors related to sexual functioning. With a combination of patience, effort, knowledge, skills and motivation, couples will be able to solve their problems regarding sex.